Seek First – Kingdom Focused Devotionals

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Eph. 6:4.

                There are few tasks more difficult than parenting.  When we think that God has given us the stewardship of shaping a young life, it challenges us to turn to Him for help.  Parenting will bring you to your knees and to God’s Word for help.  Paul now turns to the duties for parents. 

                It is likely that even though Paul uses the word “fathers” he has both parents in mind.  The first word for parents is “do not provoke your children to anger.”  Children are called to obedience (6:1) and thus it is right for parents to demand obedience, but not in a capricious and domineering way.  Discipline is essential, but petty regulations and rules which serve to discourage children are to be avoided by godly parents.  In Colossians, the twin letter, Paul states it thus—“Father, do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart” (Col. 3:21). 

                Paul now turns to the positive duty of parenting and in so doing he uses a word that was used in 5:29, where he speaks of a husband “nourishing” their wife.  The word was originally used of bodily nourishment, but it came to be used in terms of “nurturing” of body, soul, and mind.  But notice that the key issue is neither harmony in the home nor the happiness of the children, but their regard for the Lord and His instruction.  If parents bring their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, the harmony in the home and the happiness of the child will be the natural consequence.  When parents teach their children God’s Word, the Spirit will bring both discipline and instruction through the Word.

                Christian parents should place a child’s loyalty to Christ above health, material prosperity, academic achievement, or social position.  Do you?

Prayer:  Father, help me to follow Your instructions for raising the children given me in stewardship.  Amen.

“Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” (Eph. 6:2-3).

                The fifth commandment is the first and only commandment which includes a specific promise.  The words “showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments” attached to the second commandment is a declaration of God’s character embodied in the commandments and not a promise. 

                Long life in the land of Israel is a reward held out for the keeping of the divine law in general and not only for his single command (Deut. 4:40, 5:23).  We sometimes forget that disobedience has consequences in the same manner that obedience has blessings.   The concept behind dwelling in the land is the enjoyment of God’s presence, provision, and protection. 

                The key to this promise is godly parents who discipline their children “in the Lord” and teach them to obey God’s Word.  Do these verses describe your home and your parenting strategy? 

Prayer:  Father, teach me how to parent based on Your word.  Amen.

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Eph. 6:1). 

                Paul now naturally moves from the relationship of husbands and wives to that of parents and children.  The phrase “in the Lord” indicates that he is thinking about the uniquely Christian home and thus he is not thinking of the home in which parental order might be contrary to the law of Christ. 

                Obedience is such a central theme to all of Christian submission; it should not surprise us that it is that which is called for in the Christian home.  In other texts, Paul teaches that disobedience to parents is a symptom of the disintegration of society (cf. Rom. 1:30, 2 Tim. 3:3).  Christian families should, by their example, provide “salt” to a society in the grip of moral disintegration. 

                When Paula and I wrote the Splash material (see Splashinfo.com) we wanted to place the center of the Christian witness back in the home.  Christian families have a wonderful opportunity to Show People Love And Share Him when they allow non-Christians see what a difference Christ makes in the home.  Does your family demonstrate the difference Christ makes? 

Prayer:  Father, use our home as a place of witness and transformation.  Amen.

“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband” (Eph. 5:33). 

                The word “nevertheless” is a powerful word.  It immediately arrests our attention and causes us to read or listen with renewed focus.  Paul now brings this section on marriage/the church to a conclusion. 

                Paul can summarize this entire section with two key concerns.  The husband is called to a sacrificial love toward his wife and the wife is called to honor her husband.  These two commands speak to the key needs involved in the marriage relationship.  The woman needs to know that she is loved and cherished; the husband needs to know his wife respects. 

                Every husband must love his wife as if she were his own flesh because, in truth, she is his own flesh.  The welfare of each is inextricably bound up in the welfare of the other.  The husband’s love should elicit the wife’s reverence or honor and her honor should prompt the husband to love sacrificially. 

                This is a good time for a spot check on your marital relationship.  Does it resemble the relationship between Christ and His bride?  If not, what needs to change?

Prayer:  Thank You for my spouse.  Help me to respond to (him/her) as appropriate according to Your word.  Amen.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh.  This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:31-32). 

                Paul quotes from Genesis to demonstrate the vital unity into which the marriage bond brings husband and wife.  Jesus quoted these same words in Mark 10:7 to emphasis that marriage is intended to be a lifelong union.  The emphasis is on becoming one flesh.  The word “cleave” means stuck together.  In this case it is a good “stuck.”  The man is stuck to His wife and the church is stuck to Christ. 

                Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, applies Genesis 2:24 to Christ and His church.  He treats man as symbolic of Christ and woman as symbolic of the church.  The intimacy of Christ and His church can only be pictured by the beauty of sexual intimacy between a man and His wife. 

                I grew up loving the church.  My father was a pastor and church was my family from the days of my earliest memories.  I long for every believer to know the intimacy with their church that Paul describes in this text.  Ask God to give you the passion for His bride, the church. 

Prayer:  Father, help me to grow in relationship with You through Your church.  Amen.

“Because we are members of His body” (Eph. 5:30)

                In the verses which precede this short statement, Paul has been discussing how a man ought to cherish his own wife.  He speaks of loving one’s wife as loving and cherishing one’s own flesh.  This understanding is based on the biblical concept that a husband and wife become one flesh at marriage.  At the end of verse 29, Paul once again applies the image of marriage to Christ and His church, explaining why Christ cherishes and nourishes the church. 

                The simple reason is that we are members of His body.   Believers are incorporated into His body by means of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 12:13) and therefore we are one with Him.  This makes us the objects of His special care.  It is a profound and humbling thought that Christ loves and cherishes us His people as His own possession, His own bride. 

                This truth should forever ban our apathetic treatment of our own church.  Those who attempt to argue that Paul is talking about His love for His universal church and not His love for the local church, totally miss the point.  Our local church is the only earthly expression we have of the universal church.  To claim to love the universal church and to fail to express that love to our local church would be like arguing that you love the idea of marriage but you fail to love your own wife/husband.  If Christ loves the church as His own body, we must love it deeply.

Prayer:  Teach me to love your church with greater depth.  Amen.

“So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his own wife, loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church” (Eph. 5:28-29).

                Paul returns to his concern for the Christian family.  The husband, like Christ, is to love the church not for the beauty He sees in her but to make her more beautiful.  Christ sees the church with all its weaknesses and failings and loves her in such a way that He sanctifies her.  In like manner, the husband is to love his wife with a beautifying love.  The reference to “their own bodies” probably reflects Genesis 2:24 where the woman is taken from the body of the man.

                The suggestion that the husband love his wife as an extension of his love for his own body does not suggest any selfishness in his love.  On the contrary, the word agapao is used again which means that the love of the husband for his wife must be modeled after the love of Christ for His church. 

                A husband’s love leads him to nourish and cherish his wife.  We sometimes seem to ignore the truth that the husband’s love is to be intimate and caring.  We often equate this manner of love with that of the wife/mother.  This is simply another indication of how far from the biblical model we have drifted. 

Prayer:  Father, teach us how to love as You loved us in Christ.  Amen.

“So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless” (Eph. 5:26-27). 

                Paul is so moved by the love of Christ for His church that he cannot help but dwell on this subject a little longer.  We often make a distinction of the act of justification by which one is made righteous and the process of sanctification by which one is made holy.  We can also look at Christ’s work as two sides of the same coin; it is an act that cleanses from the old and consecrates to the new. 

                Two agencies are described which effect the cleansing of the church—the washing of water and the word.  There can be no doubt that water is an allusion to Christian Baptist.  The ordinance of baptism is connected to the cleansing of the heart here and in Titus 3:5.  Baptism is the outward sign of the inner cleansing.  Any suggestion that the outward act of baptism conveys cleansing from sin is excluded by the addition of the phrase “with the word.”  It is the word of the gospel (Rom. 10:8) which brings conversion and cleansing. 

                Paul probably wanted his readers to think of the preparations a bride makes for her wedding day so that she may appear before her husband in all her beauty, having no spot or wrinkle.  The Church is to appear before her heavenly bridegroom in the same way.  Notice that in the case of the church, she can do nothing to make herself beautiful, the Lord presents her to himself in all her glory.  Does this passage help you to understand why our apathy toward the church grieves the bridegroom?

Prayer:  Father, thank You for loving and cleansing Your church.  Let me serve You faithfully through Your church.  Amen

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25).

                Chrysostom, the early church father, commenting on this passage wrote: “Hast thou seen the measure of obedience?  Hear also the measure of love.  Wouldst thou that thy wife should obey thee as the Church doth Christ?  have care thyself for her, as Christ for the Church.” 

                Paul uses the word agapao for love when there were two other words which were available to him for family love and sexual passion, both of which should be expressed by the husband.  Agapao love, however, is a totally unselfish and self-giving love that seeks the good of another above one’s own satisfaction.  The love required of the husband is that which is modeled by Christ Himself. 

                Can you imagine the impact that a Christian family, who chose to follow these guidelines, could have in the world today?  The love of husbands for their wives and children and the resulting unity of the family could be the greatest testimony to the transforming power of God’s love that we can present to our neighbors and friends. 

Prayer:  Father, teach us how to love as You loved Your church and gave Yourself for her.  Amen